


who says life is fair (where is that written?)

by happywriter16



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Black Character(s), Female Character of Color, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Black Panther (2018), Post-Infinity War, infinity war made me want to cry, why damn it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-05-06 00:31:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happywriter16/pseuds/happywriter16
Summary: She mourns.





	1. Nakia

**Author's Note:**

> Title from The Princess Bride.

She doesn’t think she is selfish. She gave up a lot once she realized the rest of the world wasn’t like Wakanda. She gave up so much. Like seeing her mother and father everyday. Like her friends. Like her love. She gave him up. 

_“I must go.”_

_“Why must you save the world?”_

_“Why don’t you?”_

She supposes this is what he felt like. He must have felt something like this. This is worse. There was always the possibility that she wouldn’t come back and that she would. And she did. 

This is worse than when she watched him fall, thrown like he was nothing. All that he was and tried to be ruthlessly discarded. Bloody and bruised flesh, thrush upon rocks, until saved. But she hadn’t known until later. 

She’d had a purpose then - before M’Baku healed her and he didn’t even know it - so she didn’t allow herself to feel what threatened to spill out of her in sobs.

_“I must go.”_

_“Why must you save the world?”_

_“Because you’re in it.”_

His last words to her. 

Half the world is gone and she wishes somehow all that she sacrificed before meant she would be spared this pain.


	2. Okoye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She mourns.

You can choose the Dora Milaje. That means nothing if they don’t choose you. If you don’t prove that it’s Wakanda or your life. 

It was a year of training. Sacrifice and fear and pain. It was pride and loyalty and joy. 

It was decades of working her way up to General. Leader of the Dora Milaje. To stand beside the King. 

That was worth everything she’d lost and gained to stand beside father then son.

She thought she’d have more time by T’Chaka’s side. She certainly thought T’Challa’s reign would be long. She’d challenge him, tease him, love him, honor him. 

To watch him blow away, every piece of him floating away as if he were never flesh and blood, was like a part of her being stripped away. Like he was never a man she’d gladly give her life for. A good man. As if she’d hadn’t already lost him; already suffered enough. 

It takes everything in her not to crumple. To fall to the ground and let her tears make mud around her hands and knees.

No kind of training can prepare for this.

She has to go. She has to round up the other Dora Milaje, make sure they’re okay, have them bury the dead with honor.

She has to find Shuri, the Queen, Nakia because they must be alive. 

They must.


	3. Shuri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She mourns.

She’s never known death so intimately. First, her father, a world away and only T’Challa by his side. Next, a cousin she never knew she had but more importantly Wakandan men and women lost to the battle for her country’s soul. Now, her brother. 

She’d never met anyone else like him. And doesn’t suppose she will ever again.

He, who never let her forget that she was the smartest person he knew, probably the smartest in the world. That he would only be ruler, Black Panther, because of an accident of birth. That when her time came, she would outdo him. 

That is why she knew he would make a great king. 

She wants to rage. Curse Bast. Erase the pain her mother carries in her eyes even if her head is held high and strong for the people. 

How she thought she wouldn’t ever have to see her mother this way ever again. 

But mostly she wants to fight. To fix this. 

If she can fix broken white boys, surely she can bring her brother back.

**Author's Note:**

> In searching for a title, I came across this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScVscyPTIng. It's completely unrelated to the fandom yet describes the unfairness of life.


End file.
